Check out this article about studies done at the University of New South Wales about how you can develop stronger impulse control by getting in the habit of using your "wrong" hand more often.

I'm going to try it. I'll let you know how it works.

Ego Depletion/Decision Fatigue: Some Helpful Reading

I've mentioned the concept of decision fatigue on this blog before, and how it relates to ADHD...but as a quick refresher, ego depletion is a new idea based on evidence psychologists are observing about human nature.

Basically, the new evidence seems to suggest that what we might call "willpower" or executive function (i.e., what those of us with ADHD seem to have so much trouble with) is a real, traceable neurological phenomenon related to our brain's metabolism. What's really important about this is that it means that phrases like, "mental energy," or "emotional resources" aren't just cute turns of phrase, they're speaking to a concrete biological reality.

So what depletes our willpower? According to the research, being tired, being hungry, having to make a lot of decisions, having to exercise willpower in the face of impulses, and feeling anxiety or social rejection.

I hope to see someone with real credentials dig into the question of ego depletion in a brain that already has limited executive function, but I don't expect many surprises there. I'd be willing to bet the strength of the ego has a lot to do with a person's dopamine levels. This is the sort of science that's going to blow a lot of holes in our ability to continue being judgmental about people's "character," but you won't see me crying any crocodile tears over that fact.

Anyway...here's some good reading on the subject:

Good ol' Wikipedia

A therapist's rundown about ego depletion and some advice.

Ego Depletion on the "You Are Not So Smart" blog

Decision Fatigue

This article was shared with me by a friend of mine a little while back, and I've been wanting to share it with all you folks in ADD-land ever since. It's from the New York Times and it details an interesting phenomenon that the author dubs "decision fatigue."

Basically, the idea is this: the more decisions you have to make in a day, the more your mental energy gets sapped and, as a result, the harder it gets to make those decisions well.

Not exactly rocket science, is it? Anyone with ADD understands the problems of limited mental energy, but this article makes a solid statistical, anecdotal and scientific case for decision fatigue being a lot more than some vague, quasi-imaginary concept. Mental energy is real energy, connected with one's metabolism, which is why you can restore it by snacking

Here's the kicker for folks like us: mental energy gets sapped at much higher rates whenever the decisions you're making require forcing yourself to do things that go against your impulses - and after all, what is any task, on a mental level, but a series of intricate decisions?  Now, let's just couple that with certain facts about ADD neurology...namely, the fact that we are naturally more impulsive and driven by impulse because the mechanisms in our brains meant to control impulses are underactive.

What it comes down to, in the end, is this: if you have ADD, mental energy is a precious resource. You have to ration it out carefully in the course of a day and learn ways to replenish it as you go.

I think I'd like to do a series of personal experiments along the lines of learning to minimize decision fatigue. I'll confess that at the moment, I'm still feeling pretty high-on-life from the new medication and that's caused me to neglect a lot of my usual regimen of natural coping methods, but now's as good a time as any to get back into the swing of things. I'll keep you all filled in as I go.

Vyvanse

I have an announcement to make: for the first time in five years, I am once again taking medication for my ADHD.

That's right: I'm now taking Vyvanse, a newer time-release stimulant. It's going very well, but more on that in a minute.

Willpower and the ADHD Brain

If you're reading this blog and you don't have ADD, I'd like to ask you to do a little mental exercise with me.

Think back to when you were five years old and your parents told you to put your toys away after you finished playing with them. Remember the resistance you felt to this activity, how spirit-crushing it seemed to do this chore when you wanted to move on to some other fun activity, like playing outside. Remember the effort it took to accomplish this task, if you could even do it on your own (which you probably could not).

Now...think about that same task now, and how it would look to you as an adult. Why, it's only probably six or eight toys that just need to be placed in a bin or on a shelf. That's no trouble at all. You can do it in about 30 seconds without a second thought. You may even find it pleasurable as you're spurred on by thoughts of how nice the clean floor will look and how useful it is to have things organized. Think that's emotional maturity?

WRONG: your brain has changed! Where you were once a creature of impulse, you now have higher brain functions that numb out those childhood feelings of resistance AND give you rewards (dopamine, I think?) for carrying out the tasks that your executive functions set forth. What was once a great feat of willpower is now a very easy thing indeed.

For the ADD brain, however, this change does not take place, or it does not happen to the extent that it should. But because most people don't understand the neurology of childhood brain development, we don't experience an overabundance of sympathy and understanding in response to this limitation. Instead, we get lectured and shamed and blamed and goaded and most of all, told we need to "try harder." We deeply internalize these messages about our own inadequacy. For those of us who never get a diagnosis, we never examine them. Even for those of us that do, the guilt mechanisms are already well in place and are constantly reinforced throughout life.

If there's one thing I'd like to communicate to anyone who ever reads my blog, it's that ADD is a genuine disability. It's as real as any physical limitation, however much it may not be visible. Though it's important for all people with neurological disabilities and differences to advocate for themselves, I believe it's especially crucial for those whose disabilities are, themselves, exacerbated by the guilt and shame of being blamed for our troubles and/or not taken seriously.

So please, my friends...always remember that compared to what it's like for us? Your toys pick themselves up.