Ego Depletion/Decision Fatigue: Some Helpful Reading

I've mentioned the concept of decision fatigue on this blog before, and how it relates to ADHD...but as a quick refresher, ego depletion is a new idea based on evidence psychologists are observing about human nature.

Basically, the new evidence seems to suggest that what we might call "willpower" or executive function (i.e., what those of us with ADHD seem to have so much trouble with) is a real, traceable neurological phenomenon related to our brain's metabolism. What's really important about this is that it means that phrases like, "mental energy," or "emotional resources" aren't just cute turns of phrase, they're speaking to a concrete biological reality.

So what depletes our willpower? According to the research, being tired, being hungry, having to make a lot of decisions, having to exercise willpower in the face of impulses, and feeling anxiety or social rejection.

I hope to see someone with real credentials dig into the question of ego depletion in a brain that already has limited executive function, but I don't expect many surprises there. I'd be willing to bet the strength of the ego has a lot to do with a person's dopamine levels. This is the sort of science that's going to blow a lot of holes in our ability to continue being judgmental about people's "character," but you won't see me crying any crocodile tears over that fact.

Anyway...here's some good reading on the subject:

Good ol' Wikipedia

A therapist's rundown about ego depletion and some advice.

Ego Depletion on the "You Are Not So Smart" blog

Vyvanse

I have an announcement to make: for the first time in five years, I am once again taking medication for my ADHD.

That's right: I'm now taking Vyvanse, a newer time-release stimulant. It's going very well, but more on that in a minute.

Gabor Mate's ADD Approach: My Experience So Far

So, I started this blog about nine months ago. I started writing because I wanted to cover a wide range of topics related to ADD/ADHD, but largely, also, because I was inspired by Gabor Mate's book, Scattered (or Scattered Minds, depending on whether you buy the US or Canadian version). You can read my initial post about it here.

So how's it working out for me?

First and foremost...I feel better about myself. I've been taking the time to dissect my life experiences, especially my formative, childhood impressions and see how it's affected my sense of myself, my most deep-seated anxieties. I'm beginning to feel my ADHD as those anxieties, not just as some random tweaky brain I can't figure out or control.

It's not a fast process. I mean, the emotional progress can come in leaps and bounds, but how it actually informs my ADHD is something that only changes gradually. Today, I'm feeling like something big has happened in that arena: some last shell of a major anxiety construction of my own fell away and I have this...I don't know, this strength from somewhere that allows me to push through. A confidence to self-actualize. I'm guessing this is what the executive function feels like.

I'm still trying to decide how much of my personal stuff I really want to post here...bear with me while I decide, and I apologize if this post is a bit vague. I want to do what's most helpful to my readers, not use this as a personal therapy blog.

ADHD and Stress Repression

Lately, I find myself cursed with a variety of stress-related physical ailments. The worst of these is muscle tension, a problem that almost every person with ADHD can relate to.

I do a lot to keep it under control. Yoga, exercise, hot and cold compresses, massage, meditation...but I recently found myself spending about two weeks battling a bout of tension so severe, all my best coping skills, plus regular doses of ibuprofen, were only enough to take the edge off (and even then, only sometimes).

What's been really interesting to me about this event (albeit, also harrowing) is that it was quite clearly a physical outcropping of long-repressed emotional distress. I say this because I soon discovered how readily an honest, raw expression of emotion - of the type I've learned to avoid - would give me some relief from the pain. Sometimes it was crying, sometimes just talking through something with someone, and sometimes it required a good bout of yelling.